The Law of Adoption: A Time for Change

Adoption is often classified under one umbrella with the assumption that all adoptions are the same. In reality, adoptions are not the same and in some situations are not even similar. Adoption statutes vary by state and individual situations can be affected by the race of the child and even by the religion of the birth mother. If no two adoptions are the same, how can something so complex be categorized under one, broad term? It cannot, and therefore, the best interest of the child in a particular case may not be the same in the case of another child. For this reason, the decision to receive identifying information relative to the child’s adoption should be the adoptee’s decision when they reach the age of majority.

Adoption is often viewed positively by society and has many benefits such as loving families that care for and raise their adopted children as if they were their own and giving them opportunities for better lives. However, adoption also has negative implications including emotional and psychological problems for the child. The adopted child may feel a sense of abandonment and copes either by clinging on to people and relationships in an unconscious attempt to prevent anyone else from abandoning them, or by pushing people away because they feel that it is better not to care and that way when a person leaves they do not experience the sense of hurt and abandonment. In a society that preaches phrases such as “blood is thicker than water” and stresses the importance of being able to rely on family, who is there for a child of adoption to lean on since their family is not blood?

As Betty Jean Lifton says in her book The Search, “adoptees view the policy of confidentiality as a euphemism for putting everyone’s rights over their own, although as babies they had no say in the transaction”(Wegar, 1997). Every time an important decision that could affect the adoptees life came up, they had no say in it. Whether or not they live with their biological parent; who they ultimately live with and are raised by; whether or not they can see identifying information; whether or not they receive their medical history; all these decisions are being made for them, so at what point should it become their decision?

When a child is born and brought up in their biological family, he or she knows where they came from, and can ask any and all questions about the family’s heritage and medical history that may arise during childhood. By contrast, when a child is adopted, they often grow up not knowing where they came from and not having information about their biological family’s background or medical history. The adopted child usually desires information and may ask questions that their adoptive parents likely do not have the answers to. In taking away the rights of an adoptive child from knowing this information, society is saying that these children are inferior to those children who are not adopted. An adopted child should have the same rights as any other child and those rights include their right of knowledge of family background and medical history.

Some studies have found that many adoptees are ashamed and embarrassed by their adoptive status and overwhelmed by feelings of being “unfinished” or “imperfect.” Often times these feelings are unintentionally supported by the adoptive parents telling adoptees that they do not have to tell people they are adopted and that it is a private matter. The desire to know precisely why they were placed for adoption and whether they had been loved and wanted are key determinants in whether or not a child searches for their birth parents (Mabry & Kelly, 2006).

Birth mothers often argue they have a constitutional right to privacy and that their personal information should never be released to the adoptee. However, the right to privacy is not an absolute right and birth mothers should lose some amount of their privacy rights when it comes to placing a child for adoption. If the birth mother decided to keep the child, privacy would not be an issue because the child would know their mother; therefore, she does not have the right to privacy of that same child just because she decided to place the child for adoption. As a consequence of their choices, sex offenders lose their right to privacy at conviction and when they have to register on the sex offender registry board, public figures lose most of their rights to privacy when they become famous, and a birth parent should lose some of their rights to privacy when they put a child up for adoption.

Birth mothers often want assurances from adoption agencies and the courts that their identities will remain confidential. Often times they receive this assurance, the records are sealed, and it is noted that the child does not have the right to receive identifying information when they reach the age of majority. However, the right to privacy as it stands in the Constitution, is a right to privacy from governmental intrusion, not a right to privacy from one’s own flesh and blood.  Birth mothers often wants this right to privacy because they want to be free from the fear that the child might resurface and reveal their secret to the public, family, and friends who may not have known about the adoptee’s existence. These birth mothers are looking for a chance to not have to deal with the consequences of their actions, something everyone has to do every day of their lives. The birth mothers are looking for a way to not have to deal with the consequences of their actions, but they should have to deal with them, especially when there are many benefits for the adopted child who had no say in the adoption decision.

Another reason birth mothers should not have an ultimate say in whether the adoptee receives identifying information is they are human and can change their mind. Many birth mothers decide years after the birth of the child that they do want to know the child and may like to have a relationship with the child. Many mothers who put their children up for adoption are under the age of 25, which means they do not have a fully developed brain. They also cannot fully rationalize the situation due to hormonal changes and are in the midst of emotional turmoil, all of which create a situation in which the mother should not be making such a drastic, life-altering decision for both her and the child.

In response, many birth mothers and activists suggest voluntary mutual consent adoption registries. These registries are either passive or active, active being the more effective of the two. Active registries require staff and trained, certified intermediaries to conduct searches, make contacts, and facilitate reunions (Mabry & Kelly, 2006). However, these adoption registries only work if both parties are open to a reunion and are willing to be found. Most adoptees that seek to unseal their records do so because of their inability to gain any information from the birth mother’s desire to remain anonymous. Although these registries have worked for some people, many feel these registries do not help in finding people who do not want to be found, resulting in a waste of time and sometimes money.